Chief Wiggum

Chief Wiggum
"Okay, folks, show's over, nothing to see here, show's Oh, my God! A horrible plane crash! Hey, everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage. Come on crowd around."

Chief Wiggum
"Aaa, just get one of those inflatable women. But make sure it's a woman, though. Cause one time I-ha."

Chief Wiggum
"No, you got the wrong number. This is 912."

Chief Wiggum
"Don't be alarmed! Continue swimming naked..."

Chief Wiggum
"Hey, can I arrest any of you people for anything?"

Chief Wiggum
"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say, blah blah blah, blah blah..."

    COPS...

Police Officer
"We object to the term 'urine soaked hell-hole' when you could have said 'pee-pee soaked heck-hole'"

    The Chief's boy... Ralph

Ralph
"Chocolate microscopes. "

Ralph
"Me fail English? That's un-possible! "

Lisa
"All we found were these oozing berries, and they look pretty poisonous."
Ralph
"I eated the purple berries..... oowwww.. oooooo... mmmmaaaaaaaahhhh"
Bart
"How are they Ralph? Good?"
Ralph
They taste like... burning

Ralph
"Go banana!"

Ralph
"Teacher made me go to the principal's office when I was dirty."

Ralph

"My worm went in my mouth and then i ate it."

Ralph
"This snowflake tastes like fishsticks."

Ralph
"Oh boy,Sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"

Ralph
"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if i just kept my finger out of there."

Ralph
"Help! She's touching my special area."

Ralph
"Eh eh eh.. I don't feel right."

Ralph
"Can you open my milk mommy?
Miss Hoover
"I'm not mommy Ralph, I'm Miss Hoover."

Ralph
"I think I wet my bed."

Ralph
"What's for lunch tommorow?? Chicken Necks?"

Ralph
"I'm gonna eat chocolate till I barf."

Ralph
"Mrs Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder."

Ralph
"Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and they won't let me turn on the stove."

Ralph
"Mrs. Krabaple and Principle Skinner were in the closet making babies, and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me"

Ralph
"...and when the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore-that was the happiest day of my life."

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