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One word: hair
More hair than all previous Star
Trek commanding officers combined.
Drinks coffee, not that sissy
"Earl Grey" stuff.
Beams down to the planet like
real Captains should.
Mutes the doctor when the doctor
gets out of line.
Hasn't let an adolescent pilot
the Federation flagship.
Voyager needs a female Captain.
Its Captain must be willing to admit they're lost and pull over for directions.
Picard likes to talk his way
through. Janeway likes to punch her way through.
Hasn't quoted Shakespeare -- yet.
Looks better in sleepwear.
Janeway gives guilt trips that
would make a Jewish mother proud.
Isn't French with an English accent.
Smart enough to have a Vulcan officer.
Will give you two days off to
ponder your lifeshattering experience.
Janeway says "I don't like
you!" to her enemies instead of trying to convince them to
behave better.
Janeway has a First Officer with
a tattoo.
She doesn't have any pesky
Federation Admirals to get in her way.
Three words: Compression Phaser Rifles.
Ackowledges freely when she
breaks the Prime Directive instead of trying to weasle her way out of
it with philosophical ramblings.
15 episodes without surrendering
the ship.
15 episodes and Wesley has yet to
save the ship.
Janeway's holo programs create
useful things like doctors and lungs. Picard's holodecks create
maniacal evil geniouses who yet again take over the ship.
She doesn't need to straighten
her uniform every time she stands.
Picard: Three words: Stretch
velour jhodpurs. Janeway: Three words: Form fitting uniform.
Janeway has never worn green
tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest. However, if she did,
she would look fantastic!
Kirk looked good in ripped
shirts; Picard looked good without a shirt; Janeway would look... no,
they can't do that on network television.
Doesn't force her crew to wear
stupid outfits, unless it is to blend in with a primitive planet.
She is smart enough not to waste
time learning foreign languages. All lifeforms in the Delta Quadrant
speak perfect English.
Her engineer does not wear a
bananna clip over her eyes.
Slouches in her chair even in
critical life-threatening moments.
Doesn't have a Counselor on board
(thank God!).
Her telepath only lives nine years.
Her Chief Medical Officer will
never command the ship. ("Cathexis" was a close one!)
Janeway heard the words
"boldly go where no man (er, woman) has gone before" and
took them to the extreme.
Picard tells alien cultures,
"I hope our two cultures will one day come to a greater
understanding." Janeway threatens them with "the deadliest
of force".
Janeway's Security Chief would
never grow a ponytail.
Janeway doesn't have to point
which way to go when they set off.
Maintains an elaborate hairdo
that would baffle even Princess Leia.
Has mastered facial expression
understood by all to mean, "Boy, Paris, are YOU ever stupid."
Hugs her Vulcan from time to time.
Has a more manly voice.
Doesn't have a starship that
splits in half when it's in a tight spot.
Has a dog and a significant
other, not some damn fish!
Her ship has neat-looking folding
warp nacelles.
Her CONN officer actually went
through the Academy.
Her CONN officer can use contractions.
Her first officer has a
halucinogenic device.
To help her relax, Janeway's
first officer helps her contact her spirit guide. Picard's first
officer helps him get... to Risa.
Her ship hasn't been blown up by
a vessel less than half its size.
Relatives of her crew members
have never tried to take over the ship, steal a starship, invade the
Federation, enslave all humankind...
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