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If Picard had a son, he wouldn't
lose a fight to a Klingon whose commander was Christopher Lloyd.
Speaking of losing, Picard has
never lost a first officer to a man who once made a career out of
selling Chrysler Cordobas, either.
Picard would never be so stupid
as to go rock climbing without equipment and rely on an overweight
first officer with rocket boots to save him.
Picard would never stand for
playing "Row Row Row your boat" around a campfire.
When Picard enters a room, people
fall silent; when Kirk enters one, they keep on drinking.
Picard has that cool, futuristic
artificial heart.
When Picard has an alternate
reality experience, it's worth watching and caring about.
Picard never expects the
impossible from his engineer.
When Klingons are aboard Picard's
ship, they don't go rampaging about with 17th century weaponry.
Picard has more class than Kirk
ever had.
If poor judgement were bricks,
Kirk would be a housing project.
Picard had the chutzpah to admit
when he screwed up instead of putting on a face which only made
things worse.
Picard doesn't rely on the
Organians to help him settle intergalactic squabbles.
Picard gets along with the aliens
aboard his ship.
It's unlikely Picard ever
contracted a sexually-transmitted disease.
One word: diagnostic (Never heard
it on the old show.)
All that cool technical jargon
(Also never heard on old show.)
Picard has hair on his chest.
Picard can actually make being
bald, middle-aged, and scrawny look sexy & macho.
Kirk sat alone in the middle of
his bridge; Picard kept counselor Troi within easy reach and view at
all times.
Picard has never mutinied or had
his crew mutiny against him.
When Picard gets drunk, he tracks
mud all over the house and gets in a fight. When Kirk gets drunk, he
passes out.
Picard hired Whoopi Goldberg to
work in his bar.
Picard is not afraid to mind-meld.
Picard's ex kept her neme even
after the divorce; Kirk's kept it a secret even from her son.
Picard like solving mysteries;
Kirk couldn't figure one out if he tried.
Picard has never messed up with
the transporter.
Picard has never been bitten by a
mugatto. Nor has he ever allowed shape-shifting salt vampires aboard
his ship, either.
Picard has never aged prematurely.
Picard wasn't afraid to take on Satan.
Picard knows Gilgamesh & is
able to recite it.
Picard argues with his captors
while being tortured, Kirk merely screams in agony.
Picard never brought a woman back
from the 20th Century only to have her blow him off in front of the
entire Federation assembly.
When Picard talks, people listen.
NO ONE laughs when Picard's
Doctor says, "He's dead, Jean-Luc."
Picard has never kissed a Romulan.
Picard has never crashed in San
Francisco bay in a pirated spacecraft.
Picard would never have brought
"Nomad" aboard his ship.
If Khan came aboard Picard's
ship, Picard would have had the common sense to restrict what
technical manuals he would've been allowed to review.
If Picard found a huge glowing
sphere in the middle of outer space only to discover it was
controlled by a child with an ugly puppet, he'd be pissed.
Picard would never ATTEMPT
hand-to-hand combat with a gorn.
Picard would never have dropped
the charges against Khan.
Kirk actually tried to defend the
idea of intergalactic war with the Klingons.
When Kirk went back in time, he
frequently messed with history to suit his own ends.
Picard probably would have found
the Galileo 7 in less time than it took Kirk.
Three words: Better costuiime variety.
Kirk tries, usually
unsuccessfully, to respect other cultures. Picard tries, usually
successfully, to get other cultures to respect him.
Kirk's occasional game of choice
is 3-D chess, Picard's is poker.
"Picard" has more
syllables than "Kirk."
Can't forget those neat collar insignias.
Picard's not afraid to deal with
more advanced cultures & has done so on a number of occassions.
Picard's been on both Klingon
birds-of-prey AND the heavy cruisers (and lived to tell about it).
When Picard goes undercover, he
makes it look easy.
Though Picard has contempt for
aliens like the Cardassians, he doesn't let it show.
Kirk wears boots - Picard wears
shoes. And as we all know, it's gotta be the shoes...
Assimilating has never been a
problem for Picard.
Picard has never trashed Gene Roddenberry.
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