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Tech
Support:
OK, in the bottom left hand side
of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?
Customer:
Wow. How can you see my screen
from there? |
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Customer:
I'm having a
problem installing your software. I've got a fairly old computer, and
when I type 'INSTALL', all it says is 'Bad command or file name'.
Tech
Support:
OK, check the
directory of the A:Drive - go to A:/ and type 'dir'.
Customer:
(Reads off a list
of file names, including 'INSTALL.EXE')
Tech
Support:
All right, the
correct file is there. Type 'INSTALL' again.
Customer:
OK." (pause)
"Still says 'Bad command or file name'.
Tech
Support:
Hmmm. The file's
there in the correct place-it can't help but do something. Are you
sure you're typing I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the Enter key?
Customer:
Yes, let me try it
again." (pause) Nope, still 'Bad command or file name'.
Tech
Support: (now really confused)
Are you sure you're typing
I-N-S-T-A-L-L and hitting the key that says 'Enter'?
Customer:
Well, yeah. Although my 'N' key
is stuck, so I'm using the 'M' key... does that matter? |
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A
Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back
in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold
on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the
room to close the door to his room. |
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Compaq
is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
"Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking
where the "Any" key is. |
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AST
technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard
to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. |
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After
trouble shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the
problem, it was found that the customer labelled the diskettes then
rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels. |
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Another
Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the
system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. |
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Another
AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A
few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with
photo-copies of the floppies. |
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Another
Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of trouble shooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it
in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key. |
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A
Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "bad and an
invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad
command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally. |
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Another
customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer
wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat
there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What
power switch?" |
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True
story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller:
Hello,
is this Tech Support?
Tech:
Yes,
it is. How may I help you?
Caller:
The
cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.
How do I go about getting that fixed?
Tech:
I'm
sorry, but did you say a cup holder?
Caller:
Yes,
it's attached to the front of my computer.
Tech:
Please
excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you
receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you
get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?
Caller:
It
came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional. It
just has '4X' on it.
At
this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't
stand it.
The
caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup
holder, and snapped it off the drive! |
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An
exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged
in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal
and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to
be the computer's mouse. |
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Another
Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech
suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple
of friends," the customer replied. When told Egghead was a
software store, the said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to
find a couple of geeks." |
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Yet
another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bath tub with soap and
water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys
and washing them individually. |
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Caller:
Yes, but on my Mac they were all
over here on the right.
Tech:
Well, by default, Windows
arranges the columns on the left side.
Caller:
But, I'm right handed! |
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A
Friend:
There's an icon on my desktop
that won't go away.
Another
Friend:
Did you click on the icon once
and hit 'delete'?
A
Friend:
I haven't tried that yet. |
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Someones
Brother:
I tried to save the document, but
I think I did something wrong. All my computer did was put an icon on
the desktop.
The
Brother:
That's the document. Just
double-click it and it will open in Word.
Someones
Brother:
But it's an icon! I wanted to
save it as a file. |
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Tech
Support:
Now click on the icon that...
Customer:
Oh, I know what an icon is!
That's that thing that Sandra Bullock clicked on in The Net! |
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Tech
Support:
All right...now double-click on
the File Manager icon.
Customer:
That's why I hate this Windows --
because of the icons -- I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons.
Tech
Support:
Well, that's just an industry
term sir. I don't believe it was meant to...
Customer:
I don't care about any 'Industry
Terms'. I don't believe in icons.
Tech
Support:
Well...why don't you click on the
'little picture' of a file cabinet...is 'little picture' ok?
Customer:
[click] |
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